No spoilers so you know it’s fresh.
- Everyone will be talking about it, and about 75% of the fun of this movie is not knowing what happens. As someone who has yet to see the movie Psycho, I greatly appreciate the great spoiler-keepers of our time. But I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS MOVIE, and I can’t until the rest of y’all get off your lazy asses and go to the goddamn movie theater.
- It’s Joss Whedon. If you have seen ANY of his projects (like Toy Story or Buffy or Firefly or trailers for the upcoming Avengers movie…), you should know by now that Joss Whedon + money = a very good thing. And this movie is a collaboration with longtime Whedonite Drew Goddard (who also did Lost and Cloverfield). This should speak for itself.
- This movie is loaded with detail. Because we’re dealing with experienced and talented moviemakers. The characters are not only fully realized – so is the world they inhabit. That means this movie is good for repeat viewings! Give them ALL your money!
- And it’s hilarious. As far as horror films go, I don’t think I’ve ever laughed quite so hard. This isn’t one of those laugh-at-the-gore movies (although that happened, too). The violence is appropriately disturbing (something I wish the Hunger Games had gone for), and then the jokes are hilarious. Because, honestly, can you think of anything MORE absurd than [spoilers HAH NOW YOU’RE INTRIGUED].
- It takes the stupid torture-porn genre and flips it on its head. There’s “gratuitous violence,” but there’s no gratuitous violence. You’ll have moments of “this feels like Tarantino” that will be smashed to little bacon bits and sprinkled with magic and you won’t know what to do with your brain.
- Let’s pause and talk about Fran Kranz for a second:Fran Kranz is fierce (see above). One time Fran Kranz punched me in the face and it was awesome. You know how this goes – we are on the internet, after all. I am hyperbolically inflating the man, the legend that is Fran Kranz. But really, all you need to know is that he takes the typically lazy stoner-slacker role and invigorates it as much as Whedon & Goddard have invigorated a lazy genre. A+ performance.
- Weird circa 2007 radio rock soundtrack. Like, Evanescence and Nine Inch Nails weird. And yet it works. It’s like they were all sitting around watching Transformers one day and decided, “hey, this can be our next soundtrack.” Kanye shrug. This just makes me LOL.
- SURPRISE CAMEO AT THE END. Well, surprise everything at the end. If you sit there in the theater racking your brain like, “I’m so smart I know everything I’m going to figure it out,” I mean…you might? But I doubt it. Let the ending happen. Just let it come. Shhhhhh.
- One of the best fight scenes of all time. Of all time. Have you seen the movie Kick-Ass? It felt like that, but on magic heroin. Kill Bill? Even better. This tops all of those. I can’t wait for this movie to get its chance to go out into the world wide interwebs and start its blog-whispering. People are never going to shut up about this movie.
- With moral ambiguity! You will love every character. Every line of dialogue. The bad guys? They’re awesome. The good guys? They’re flawed. If moral ambiguity is air to you (as it is to me), I swear to God you need to get off your ass and go see CABIN IN THE WOODS.