*Or any day you feel like it, really.
- Tell them you’re thinking of moving to Los Angeles.
- When they ask what smells funny, tell them that you read online that it’s not healthy to wash your hair every week.
- Bleed from your mouth.
- Tell them you’re seriously considering marrying your boyfriend of 2 months, who’s an exotic dancer and is 9 years your senior.
- Tell them you have converted to Scientology.
- Have wild convulsions any time someone touches you.
- Tell them you’re strictly vegan, and therefore will not be attending their Groundhog’s Day party this year.
- Silently weep as you eat your tuna salad sandwich, in front of your co-workers.
- Drop out of University to move to Brooklyn and pursue your dream of being a writer.
- Act like Nicolas Rage:
– Kellie Hogan