Are You Sick of Nail Art Yet?

For the sake of journalism, I painted my nails 5 times this week. I did it because I love you, and because I love me, of course. I’m a nail polish junkie, and I find power in having brightly colored freaky finger nails. Although, there were several moments on the bus when I could feel people starring at my nails, and it took a lot of inner strength to feel strong and beautiful despite the judgmental nail nudists.

Illuminate the streets with these green-on-green Illuminati power nails! If you walk around with your nails like this, I guarantee award winning author Dan Brown will find you and whisper the Illuminati secret password in your ear.

#classy #art #dance #vintage #fab #glam #indie

Don’t try this at home kids. As you can see, it looks like shit. These ‘plaid’ nails gave me more pain than pleasure, and the only way I could make them look halfway decent was to have them pose with a fresh-baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookie.

No Foul Language? Fuck that. No Alcohol? lol im drunk right now. No Vehicles? Yeah I can’t afford a car, I ride the bus like a true covergirl. No Loitering? I’m literally always loitering. I was even loitering while I took this photo at a pre-school. I remember watching the little ones playing on the jungle gym, and there was this one kid who was just laying on his back in the sand, gently waving a stick in the air overhead. Hahah, what a champ.

If you look closely, these ruby red nails have a blue-glitter fringe. They don’t call me Kellie “Kindergarten Vogue” Hogan for nothing. Here’s my number so call me maybe.

When I worked at Chic-fil-A this summer, I wasn’t allowed to wear nail polish at all, so this fall I went TO TOWN. Solid pink nails, neon orange nails, glittery blue nails: basic bitches wear that shit so I don’t even bother. It’s all about the bi-coloured triangle nail. Banana death-grip. I got the swag, and it’s pumpin’ out my ovaries.

– Kellie Hogan


About Kellie Hogan

co-founder and creative director of inconnu magazine

One comment

  1. Hilary

    Your nails will look much neater if you try not to paint over your cuticles! Don’t apply the polish right at the base on your first swipe; start a little above the cuticle (like a couple millimeters), then push the polish down towards the cuticle and then bring it up all the way to the free edge. There are lots of youtube videos where they do this if my explanation doesn’t make sense. It also helps you get a more even, less goopy, polish application.


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