My Fantasy Galentine’s Day Brunches

1. The Gilmores

In attendance: Rory Gilmore, Lorelai Gilmore, Emily Gilmore, Lane Kim, Sookie St. James, Paris Gellar, Ms. Patty, Babette, Mama Kim, Gypsy

Location: Luke’s Diner

The scenario: Lorelai and Rory had been planning to host their annual Galentine’s Day brunch at the Independence Inn, but with the Inn damaged from the fire, they have nowhere to go. Sookie reacts by taking over Luke’s kitchen and whipping up a breakfast fit for queens. Of course, Luke can’t help but contribute his infamously fluffy pancakes and delicious coffee.  Witty banter, feminism, and over-caffeination ensues. Emily and Lorelai fight about Rory’s future but resolve it when they remember that they love each other and that fighting is stupid and it’s a holiday and ladies rock. (At some point, Ms. Patty gets drunk and pinches Jess’s butt.)

2. The Scooby Gang

In attendance: Buffy Summers, Dawn Summers, Anya Jenkins, Willow Rosenberg, Tara Maclay, Joyce Summers

Location: Giles’s Apartment

The scenario: Glory wants Dawn dead, but the rage of an angry goddess is not going to stop Buffy from having a normal holiday celebration, dammit! Her house isn’t safe, thanks to Glory, but she begs Giles to agree to leave and let them host it at his place. She spends all morning making her mother’s homemade waffles, baking heart-shaped souffles and decorating the room with pink streamers and paper hearts. Brunch is interrupted when a demon that manifests every year on the Eve of St. Valentine’s Feast to eat human hearts starts attacking the neighbors. Buffy is furious. “I said,” punch, “I’m not,” kick, “skipping,” stab, “GALENTINE’S DAY.” She rips off his head and returns to her waffles.

3. The (Anti) Newpsies

In attendance: Kirsten Cohen, Julie Cooper, Summer Roberts, Kaitlin Cooper, Marissa Cooper, Taylor Townsend

Location: A model home

The scenario: Kirsten and Julie have been fighting since their totally illegal “dating service” flopped, so Taylor Townsend convinces Marissa and Summer to throw a Galentine’s Day Brunch to forcethem to make up. Taylor goes overboard organizing the event, in order to prove to Summer that she wants to be friends for real. Summer totally appreciates the gesture and they hug and it’s great. Kaitlin and Marissa fight about Johnny but make-up because Johnny is dumb, I mean really. And Julie and Kirsten get over their grudge and they all eat breakfast food and Marissa doesn’t drink too many mimosas and it’s gr8.

4. The Companions

In attendance: Rose Tyler, Jackie Tyler, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane Smith, Donna Noble

Location: The TARDIS

The scenario: The Tenth Doctor got himself abducted by, like, Davros or something. There are Daleks involved, just go with it. They rescue him, but he’s unconscious, and they have to wait around in the TARDIS until he wakes up. So…brunch on board the TARDIS! It is Galentine’s Day, after all. And don’t tell me that this is implausible because I have seen Doctor Who. I know the mind of Steven Moffat. Besides, what better use for the mysterious interior of the TARDIS than platonic world-saving lady love and breakfast food?

5. The Bennets

In attendance: Lizzie Bennet, Lydia Bennet, Jane Bennet, Charlotte Lu, Caroline Lee, Mary Bennet, Gigi Darcy

Location: Netherfield Manor / Carter’s

The scenario: Caroline, desperate for  attention, organizes an elegant, catered Galentine’s Day Brunch at Netherfield. Lizzie Bennet may be her rival for Darcy’s affections, but as long as she keeps up the ruse of friendship, she knows the has the upper hand. Lizzie and Gigi meet for the first time, and Caroline is outraged to see the two of them getting along so well. Caroline ends the party early after claiming that she’s feeling unwell. The remaining ladies head to Carter’s at Lydia’s request, where they get wine drunk. The Bennet sisters sings Destiny’s Child karaoke. Lizzie drunkenly professes her love for her “since fetuses bestie” Charlotte when the song is over. “And Mary is totes the coolest cousin ever,” Lydia adds before sitting down. Caroline feels left out and joins them anyway, realizing that friendship is actually kind of cool.

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About Taylor Brogan

Managing Editor - inconnu magazine. Tweets @thbrogan.

One comment

  1. Pingback: My Fantasy Galentine’s Day Brunches | Taylor Brogan

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