TV DAD DEATH-MATCH

VOTE NOW FOR THE FINAL ROUND

And then there were two.

Seemingly unstoppable Sheriff Stilinski was finally ousted by Sandy Cohen and his magnetic eyebrows, while Rupert Giles took Cliff Huxtable down in a true Battle of the Sweater Vests.

So who will it be? The taciturn Watcher with a penchant for tea and killing demons, or the Lawyer-turned-Kept-Man with a heart the size of Texas?

dads9

 

ROUND 3

(Gabby Ross here)

Another round finished; here are the final stats for the second round of the TV DAD DEATH-MATCH:

Capture d’écran 2013-06-12 à 19.01.04

Another duel that ended in a 50/50 draw! Sandy Cohen took it in the end, while Giles and Stilinski swept their opponents. To my great dismay, Eric Taylor is out of this competition. Let’s wish him well:

Coach Taylor

Here are your top four:

Capture d’écran 2013-06-12 à 19.01.32

Give ’em hell.

ROUND 2

What a race! Here are the final stats for the first round of the TV DAD DEATH-MATCH:

Capture d’écran 2013-06-12 à 18.00.20

Cannot believe how close it was between Coach Taylor and Red Forman. Somebody must’ve gotten their vote in last minute because Coach did indeed win his bracket. Here, I will personally apologize to Taylor: Keith Mars lost. Let’s take a moment.

Ok, good enough. Here are your top 8:
Capture d’écran 2013-06-12 à 18.00.59
I predict the brackets on the right will provide tough decisions.

To your keyboards!

ROUND 1

dads1

Cliff Huxtable – (The Cosby Show): This dad was often more concerned about his next hoagie than the goings-on of his household, but he was always ready with a brilliant comeback.

Phil Dunphy – (Modern Family): He’s just a cool dad, you know?

dads3

Keith Mars – (Veronica Mars): Keith Mars can find dirt on anyone, scare anyone, and cause harm to anyone who threatens him or his daughter. This guy was literally too competent to be Sheriff. I mean, he literally walked through fire to save his daughter.

Sheriff Stilinski – (Teen Wolf): Mr. Stiles is a father first and sheriff second. He’ll do anything to protect and support his son, including giving up the job that defined him.

dads4

Angel – (Angel): Though his primary role during the 3 seasons of ‘Buffy’ and 5 of ‘Angel’ was never as father, Angel always – always – put Connor’s safety and happiness before anything else. Even after Connor reappeared as a 16-year-old Rambo, trapped him at the bottom of the ocean, and had sex with the love of his life.

Danny Tanner – (Full House): Danny Tanner was one of about 50 father-figures in the lives of Michelle, Stephanie, and DJ, but he still went above and beyond to act as both mother AND father for his children in that big, super full house of his.

dads2

Peter Griffin – (Family Guy): He’s a cartoon. He doesn’t have to be a decent father to be a Cool Dad.

Homer Simpson – (The Simpsons): He’s all about that tripple D: Duff, Donuts, and bein’ a Dad. I also imagine that Homer Simpson would fall asleep to Guy Fieri’s voice every night, if given the chance. Just speculation.

dads7

Sandy Cohen – (The OC): This man is 50% heart, 40% brain, and at least 10% eyebrows. He’s such a ridiculously fabulous father that he welcomes a straight up hoodlum into his home, father’s the shit out of him, and helps him become the Greatest Dude Ever – because he’s Sandy Cohen. Just don’t touch his bagels.

Graham Chase – (My So-Called Life): Graham is the parent Angela turns to when she needs to dig deep into her soul, when she needs someone to reheat her spaghetti, when she just wants to jam to the Grateful Dead. Graham is the emotional support Angela needs, but he’s not always perfect.

dads5

Eric Taylor – (Friday Night Lights): Known to the laymen as “Coach,” Eric Taylor can be kind of a hard-ass, even when it comes to parenting. But Eric Taylor loves his daughters, and he treats his football players like sons when they need him to.

Red Forman – (That 70s Show): Basically, don’t piss him off, because if you do, his foot will inevitably find its way to your ass.

dads6

Rupert Giles – (Buffy the Vampire Slayer): Though not technically her father, Giles served as a father figure and as a guardian to Buffy and the other Scoobies. His transformation from bumbling librarian to loyal watcher to Certified Father Figure melted hearts, for sure.

Alaric Saltzman – (The Vampire Diaries): Rick’s primary functions in life are drinking whiskey and trying really hard to do the right thing. The latter part of that includes serving as (pretty much) the ONLY parental figure in the lives of the teenagers both mortal and immortal in Mystic Falls.

xx

Luke Danes – (Gilmore Girls): Let’s be real – Christopher is a shitty father, and Luke is the BEST. Despite having “no patience for jam hands,” Luke does a hell of a job looking out for Rory, Jess, and April. He’s always willing to drop everything to be there for the people he cares about, and that goes especially for his quasi-adoptive teen children figures.

John Winchester – (Supernatural): He wasn’t always around when little Sammy was growing up, but Papa Winchester did what he could to save the world AND provide for his sons. LIke, dude had to raise two boys on his own while running from the cops AND a bunch of monsters. Sucks bro.

Advertisements

About Taylor Brogan

Managing Editor - inconnu magazine. Tweets @thbrogan.

One comment

  1. Please tell me Hank Hill is in this competition.

DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: